Saya hipokrit..

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang..

Dengan segala keizinanNya i'm still here..breathing alive...Alhamdulillah..
If people were to ask me how am i..Well the answer would be that i'm still sad but fine..It has been almost a month that my new semester started..And trying to suit myself of not having 8am classes for which that was the routine for the past 4 semesters i think..

Relating to the above topic..Iya..SAYA HIPOKRIT..You might wonder.. am i..?

Well i am..Since past two months..i've been hiding my feelings..what was within me..not being the state that i am supposed to... well being in this kind of situation..

Interestingly..a friend of mine asked me..

"Ulfah..ko aku tgk selamba jer.."

Of course i was..I just had to be happy..showing to the whole wide world that i'm fine..that i'm strong and tough..But it's hard and not easy..It's difficult..When Man is here..I felt a little relief..Having a man with us...

And the part that i'm so close to him..Ya..I do and really really miss him so much..I miss the part when he calls me every week..I miss the part when he will always ask my well being..I miss the part when he answers all my question regarding my subject..I miss his laughter..I miss his jokes..I miss his presence..I miss every single thing about him..

Hope to meet a man like him.....





I pray that Allah will always reward me with the strength..

I thank people around me for the never ending love & support..May Allah reward them..

KINI...

Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Mengasihani

Tiada apa yang boleh dikatakan tetapi kami sekeluarga sedaya upaya menyesuaikan diri dalam keadaan arwah abah yang sudah tiada lagi di sisi kami...

Walau apa pun, aku gembira kerana Allah mengizinkan aku dapat berada di sini ummi & adik-adik selama ini..Aku beruntung dan aku pasti adik aku yang dua org lagi itu pasti sedih tidak dapat bersama kami..InsyaAllah moga Allah akan bagi kesempatan utk kita bersama & bertemu kembali..

Dua hari yang lepas..keputusan exam untuk semester lepas dah kuar..Alhamdulillah lulus semuanya walaupun tidak begitu cemerlang..Rasa nak nangis pun ada sebabnya memang bajet satu subject itu akan fail..hu..Tapi Allah Maha Berkuasa..DIA menolong aku dalam segenap perkara..Kalau ikutkan mmgla keputusan yang sgt drastic nak amek exam final tuh..

Satu subject ini sgt2 menyentuh hatiku, utk pengetahuan pembaca..Malam nak exam itu..Masih lagi menangis teresak-esak bila baca jer notes subject itu..Kerana subject ini sgtlah sentimental & mengingatkan aku pada arwah abah..Sebbanya arwah abah pernah janji yang dia akan ajar aku bila time nak exam nanti..Tapi Alhamdulillah..Aku berjaya dapat A-..dan aku hadiahkan keputusan grade ini utk arwah Abah yang selama ini memberikan sokongan yang tak pernah henti..

Terima kasih kepada Cik Peqa atas segala pertolongan (dia wat notes semata-mata utk sy ok!)

Semester baru yang bakal menjelma..Semoga aku aku akan lebih bersemangat utk meneruskan pengajian yang berbaki lagi setahun..dan lagi setahun utk double-degree dlm Shariah di mana ini merupakan harapan dan impian abah sejak mula-mula aku menyatakan utk mengmbil jurusan undang-undang..

Utk pengetahuan anda, before pulang bercuti aku ada menerima panggilan dr MIBF atas tawaran utk join management training and if i do well, i will be straight accepted to be their staff..tapi memandangkan diaorg nak wat interview time aku kt Brunei..so xperla..Maybe ini bukan rezki aku :) Dan ini juga menjadi pemangkin utk aku terus berusaha menjadi yang terbaik..

KINI pasti tidak akan sama seperti DULU.. Tapi apa-apa yang pasti matlamat & objektif aku masih sama...Dalam mencari keredhaan Tuhanku dan meneruskan kehidupan sebagai khalifah di muka bumi..

Dan impian & harapan arwah abah pada kami adik-beradik juga tidak berubah..Masih sama seperti dulu..

(Kali terakhir arwah abah berkumpul adik-beradik)

Dear Abah...

We miss u so much...

Muna di supermarket..

Dear Muna..

Terima kasih sebab temankan akak and abg nafis pergi berjalan kt hampir sumer kedai kt Brunei ni beli brg utk raya & buku sekolah & baju sekolah..hehe..

Muna gembira dgn buku baru =)

Apa-apa pun tadi Muna mengikut UM & abg pi pergi beli brg hampir 3 jam di jalanan..and serious penat even jarak antara tempat yg dituju sgtlah dkt..bagai ada angin yang menyuruh UM tido di kala tengah membawa kereta itu..he..Si Muna n abg pi pulak sebuk menengok cd kt TV dlm kete tuh..Aku? xkan nk tgk kan..hehe..sampai ke Kuchingla alamatnya if join sekali tgk..hehe..nway..Muna sgt happy sbb kakak die yang baik bwk dia jalan2..Tapi awl2 lagi dah bagi warning...

"Jgn mintak apa-apa ek..Jgn meragam.." (dlm nada yg sungguh grg n tegas..wee..he..as usual ;)

"ok kakak.."

Itu memang menjadi dialog biase kpd cik muna tunz setiap kali nk pergi ke mana-mana..But i don't know why..she has this kind of persuasive power tau..which can make u "cair" and she will get what she wants..he..

Returning back to the exact story..This Muna likes to buy this kinder joy coklet yg bentuk egg tuh..not that she really likes the coklat sgt pun but..because of those tiny little animals that will "hatch" after "breaking the egg"hehe...she has to put the bits & pices together to create the animal or then she will act like she knows bio-technology so much by creating the "kacukan"..hehe..

Dekat supermarket tuh..benda tuh display dekat ngn cashier..so she managed to grab one..i only paid for one..keluar jer dr supermarket..she has TWO with her..apalagi..terus kena marah time tuh jgk dgn kakak die yg garang ni..;p

When i asked her,this is what she answered:

" Muna want to buy for kak baby (uswah)"

Aku seperti biasa hanya geleng kepala..so i returned to the cashier and paid the other
"egg"..Serious tak perasan pun dia amek dua..

Conclusionnya..Sila tgk dgn rapi & teliti kanak2 kecil di supermarket..and I know she was being nice to her sister..=)

(Muna with her kinder joys [still can smile even bru lepas kene mrh])

Abah...

Apakah pekerjaan mummy?

Pekerjaan ibu/Mother's occupation:...........................................

Sebutlah apa-apa borang time sekolah pun..He mesti ada bahagian kene isi apa pekerjaan ibu..

(house-husband anyone..?hihi..)

As for me..i had been filling SURIRUMAH/HOUSEWIFE in the space since i was in kindergarden until i entered university..


(child:"mummy..i'm free..anything else to do..?")

not like others yang isi GURU, DOCTOR,ENGINEER,ARCHITECT,ASST MANAGER, & etc or even a POLITICIAN.. but well at first i've always been thinking that it must be cool if my mum is working..and i was wondering why my mum decided not to work the fact she is a historian (having a Masters Degree in History) it is important to note that my late daddy did no ever restraining her to work but lebih2 lagi encourage but my mum yg refuse..he..


Tapi it turns out that she is a full time house-wife having a Masters Degree.. =) Perhaps ramai lagi wanita-wanita di luar sana seperti my mum..Like my mum's cousin who are architects but decided to be at home..Or engineer who are tired with site works decides to be 'tired' at home he..


But the outcome is this..We are who we are now..(Even not being somebody lagi pun but xper..otw..hehe) I'm proud that my mum is a full time house-wife..weee..love u ummi..


But I do adore women who can actually make portions of their life for their career & family especially doctors & lawyers..SERIOUSLY.. I have a close friend of mine who wants his wife to be house-wife..not him alone..i've heard some from other guys also..

but for me..HAHA..i'm the type that just can't stay still..:D People imagine me as the future successful lady lawyer that will be known to whole country( wah gituh..=P) but i imagine myself being someone having a simple career & having a wonderful & lovely own family..(heh..berangan gituh..AMEEN) =)


even if i do turn out to be a house-wife i'll move here & there making my life enjoyable & meaningful all the time (to my future husband-whoever u are = please bear with me..hehe..:D)


MOTIF ENTRY: Nothing much..finishing my studies in one year time (or maybe two) makes me think what shall i do in the future..the plan that i should do..who to be..where to work..but ya then..we will never know..


like i always say LIFE IS UNPREDICTABLE..(it does depend on what type of guy that we will end-up with..heh..)


yg penting MUMMY will always be the best..


always in OUR hearts..


dear ummi...i love u so much :)