Thursday, November 25, 2010

Dan apabila hati tiba-tiba menjadi sayu..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Dan apabila hati tiba-tiba menjadi sayu...air mata mula bergenang dan diikuti titisan menitik satu-persatu..
Flashback cerita lalu...
Mengimbau kisah dahulu...
Terkenang detik itu...
Ketika dan saat yang terlalu sukar untuk diungkapkan melainkan yang tahu...
Tidak mampu dilawan perasaan itu...
Yang datang menjengah dalam masa yang satu...
Terlalu banyak untuk disemat menjadi kenangan...
Tidak kurang banyak untuk dibuang jauh-jauh ke dalam lautan...
Aku manusia yang punyai hati apabila disentuh dengan kejadian...
Kerana kita punya Tuhan mengimbangkan ruh yang tidak keruan...
Telah ku nilai mana yg dikatakan intan...
Telah ku tahu mana yang dikatakan lawan...
Telah ku sedar siapa yg akan sentiasa dalam dampingan..
Telah ku maklum siapa yg seperti tiada kewujudan..
Kadang-kadang aku takut untuk melangkah...
Kadang-kadang aku gentar untuk menapak...
Tidak ku tahu apa ketentuan...
Tidak ku tahu apa pengakhiran...
Aku menyayangi mereka...
Mereka yg sentiasa dekat di hati...
Mereka yg masih bisa untuk mengagahkan aku...
Mengenggam erat tanganku...
Menemani dengan setianya aku...
Mendengar tangisan aku...
Sabar melayani aku...
Menitipkan kata dan azimat...
Walhal aku seperti tegar tidak mendengar...
Aku sabar menanti...
Kebahagiaan yang kekal abadi...
Kerana aku percaya pada rahmat Tuhan...
Mungkin masa belum kesampaian...
(Pegangi hatiku Ya Allah..Sentiasa)
With luv,
UM

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Setahun itu adalah sekelip mata...

Assalamualaikum..
In the name of Allah the Most Precious and Merciful...
Di kala ini..masih tenang jari menari2 menyiapkan assignment terakhir semester ini..Menyelusuri setiap baris dalam pencarian ratio decidendi paling tepat..Case appeal dengan 3 org judge..
2 3 hari sebelum ini adalah saat or zone tenang..banyak masa untuk diri sendiri..Jumaat malam sabtu menulusuri MRR2 yg mmg terkenal dengan kemeriahannya..Namun kegigihan itu berbaloi demi mengembirakan hati seseorang dan memenuhi harapan nurani..Dan YA..perjalanan dimudahkan dengan permulaan niat yang baik..Mengembirakan hati org lain adalah suatu perasaan indah yang sukar diungkapkan..
adik mat pis (panggilan arwah abah utk nafis) tersengih2 saat kakak dia smpai di muka pintu asrama...adik saya yang sorang ini sangat manja secara indirectly..call pun dalam analogy penuh makna..haha..tp takpe sudah memahami..hati si minor bwh 18 thn yang perlu dijaga dan dipelihara secara psikologi agar tenang dan tabah melalui langkah perjalanan yang masih di jauh di hadapan..
Beberapa jam lagi..tarikh 25/10/2010 bakal menjengah lagi..
Genap setahun..yang tercinta pergi menghadap Ilahi yang lebih menyayangi..Jika mereka berkata sudah setahun..ya..saya tahu sudah setahun..tapi hati dan jiwa saya masih sensitif tatkala terkene walau sezarah huruf mengenainya..Itu sebabnya titisan air mata di dlm tutorial EPS sudah cukup menerangkan segalanya..Tetapi saya adalah manusia normal..
Bukan untuk menangisi yang telah pergi..hanya utk mengingati seseorang yang sangat dan terlalu dekat di hati..yang menjadi tonggak kami,panduan hidup dan amalan berbudi..Hanya Tuhan sahaja yang memahami..dan sesiapa yang pernah melalui..jangan ckp anda faham..kerana sampai bila2 anda tidak akan faham..tetapi ada sahaja situasi utk org lain expect kita utk faham keadaan mereka tetapi mereka tidak faham situasi kita..terima kasih..tetapi saya anggap semua itu semua cabaran utk saya..
and plz..do look at me as normal as you can...
Dan sini..terima kasih..terima kasih kpd mereka yang sentiasa ada di sisi saya..secara indirect or indirectly..
yang menyapa saya di jalanan..memberikan senyuman..itu sudah cukup mengembirakan hati saya.
yang selalu msj saya di fb.post kat wall saya.menegur saya dengan hanya satu ayat.terima kasih.anda tidak tahu betapa yg short and simple itu sudah cukup utk saya..
yang sentiasa membuatkan saya ketawa dan tersenyum gembira..dengan lagak2 yang xtahu nak cakap macamana.
yang selalu AMBIL BERAT dengan cara yang paling simple dan sehingga yg complicated.yang selalu bertanya.
yang selalu teguh di belakang saya.ummi dan adik2 saya.mereka kekuatan hingga ke akhir hayat.
Sahabat2 saya dunia akhirat yang terlalu ramai utk disebutkan..di mana-mana anda berada..di Gombak,semenanjung,utara dan selatan hingga jauh ke timur tengah dan juga england..
maaf jika ada tutur bicara,sebarang perlakuan yang menyentuh jiwa...tq kerana memahami..
dan
DIA..yang sentiasa berada di sisi..sentiasa dan bila2..Thank You Allah for everything despite of my ignorance..you're still there..testing me in ur ways..that i'm grateful that YOU remind me always to be persistent and consistent in my way for YOU..Protect me and my beloved..Dari segala kejahatan,kelalaian, and anything evil..
Dulu saya penah baca blog..penulisan ditujukan buat yang tiada..But then now..i'm doing this just utk melepaskan rindu..
Dear Abah,
Kakak doakan abah sentiasa di alam perlindunganNya dan rahmat kasih sayangNya
Bila abah pergi kakak rasa separuh jiwa kakak pergi juga
Abah terlalu dominant dalam diri kakak
Tetapi yang dominant itu yang telah membuatkan kakak masih berdiri sehingga sekarang
Terima kasih atas kekuatan yang telah ditanamkan dalam jiwa kakak
Warisan abah yang sangat kuat dan teguh dalam kehidupan
Kakak dah nak habis final sem..
Sekejap je kan..?Ingat lagi time matric dulu abah hantar..Time masuk main campus pun abah hantar..Pastukan ummi cakap nanti nak hantar kakak time register LLBS..hehe..xpekanla kan abah..kesian ummi xpenah dapat hantar kakak..
Man dah nk masuk final sem..Rituh die kene undergo minor knee injury..one of the nerve kat ligamen putus..tapi time2 kene bertongkat tuh..he still manage to do his professional exam..he's doing fine..and he is changing slowly to be in your role..i'm proud of him..I know you would be proud of him too..
Ismah..masih sama time kt SBPI dlu..sibuk dengan aktiviti tambahan..bukan debate..but more to the student society..makan pun masih x byk..but dah pandai kot makan pizza..she's taking fiqh as her elective..she's doing fine too..she would be a great doctor for our family..
Nafis..identically like you abah..bila dia panggil kakak kan.suara nafis mcm abah sangat..he is happy in smkl..aktif mengalahkan YB..he adapts so fast and easily..harituh pergi archery kt perak wakil kl..he has the potential of being a ustaz..he..:) we will make sure he does..
The three princesses kt rumah tuh...mcm biasalah..awah dah abis exam..kak baby is still in her gentle ways..muna is getting chubbier..he..she eats a lot..and their daliy actvities is playing with amai anak mak long..and muna is doing fine in school..the little baby is growing abah :)
Ummi has been working for almost 8 months..we are proud to have such a strong mother..she is enjoying her work and making herself busy..i will always try to call her everyday..and i can sense from her voice that she is tremendously happy whenever i call her..we will take care of her..Abah jangan risau k...
Kakak harap abah tenang di sana
Doa kami adik-beradik setia menemani abah
Juga ilmu-ilmu yang abah berikan sejak tahun 1986 menerangi
Bila-bila..abah datanglah dalam mimpi..Kalo dapat tengok sekejap pun xperla..
We love you and always missing you...
With luv,
UM

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

100 meter terkakhir..

Assalamualaikum

Dulu kat sekolah..time sekolah rendah..saya memangla ratu sprinter..ini zaman time sekolah rendah..n jugak pada masa yg sama ratu jarak jauh..bab merentas desa..itu adalah expertise saya..smpai ke sekolah menengah..jarak jauh dan sukan berstamina tinggi adalah bidang saya..kurang dah bab sprinter sbb bdn da berat..
dan sekarang..aderla 2 sem meninggalkan seketika dunia sukan for which seriously rasa lesu yg obvious..xper..kene smngat balik exercise ni..he..
Berbalik pada matlamat asal entry kali ini..tinggal bbrapa hari sahaja lagi final exam utk LLB akan ditempuhi..
Perasaan sekarang ialah utk melakukan yang terbaik bagi peperiksaan LLB yg terakhir ini..dan SEDIH itu sudah pasti..IIUM,especially AIKOL sgt mendatangkan satu memori yang sukar diungkapkan..(save dlu bab memori..he)
Dengan segala apa yg berlaku...Saya masih lagi berdiri sehingga sekarang...Moga Allah memudahkan larian yang terakhir ini..
For the beloved...
with luv,
UM

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Things that you can't see but you can feel...

It's been a while that i haven't updated anything..hehe..;) Assalamualaikum... and Eid Mubarak to all..At the meantime i'm still enjoying the mood of eid together with my beloved mother and riang-ria siblings...It's the moment yang balas terhadap ketidak pulangan dan ketidak jumpaan selama beberapa bulan..:) Sis di Alex turut pulang..only beloved bro in US is not here with us this year..he will be back for the next raya..InsyaAllah..

Regarding the title of this entry..well..ntah...mmg ada sesetengah perkara yang tidak dapat dilihat tapi dapat dirasa..;) apakah itu..?rahsia..haha..

Raya seperti biasa...Kuih raya buat..Lauk-pauk raya pun ada..tetapi kekurangan itu sangatlah terasa..mungkin masing-masing cuba utk menyembunyikan apa yang terbenak di hati tapi jauh di sudut hati..i know that everyone felt sad...but we tried hard to make ourselves happy..

We did what we always do for hari raya..Go on with the tradition...But well it still felt so different..

FAMILY..where the heart will always be..how far you maybe...they will always remain deeply in our hearts..

FOREVER....



Missing him...and always...

With luv,

UM

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The love...

In the name of Allah..The One who is always close to my heart..the One who showers rahmat upon me and the whole universe..

Alhamdulillah is the only word that i can think about as to this moment..

I'm still here...Continuing my journey..the unknown journey..for which i can never imagine as what my journey will lead me..but the only hope and prayer is that it will always be the journey that Allah desires for me..the best...

She- the beloved came back and well i was really happy having her around even the tiring days..travelling her here and there..but ya..how tired you are..i think being with your beloved is the most awaited moment..to see her getting all the food that she wants..haha (siryes kelakar)..

The truth is.. i like to be with any of my siblings(walaupun hanya satu yg akan ada menemani) itu sudah cukup..Even dgn kegarangan serta ketegasan dan sebagainya..know that i never meant to..

hmmm...

ya...Ahlan Ya Ramadhan..Alhamdulillah...Allah has given us the oppurtunity here again in this blessed month..i've tried but it seems that it can never and ever get out of my mind..the previous Ramadhan...i miss him...

Dear Ummi..i beg your forgiveness for everything...Pray for me and do know that i miss you everyday and pray for your happiness..That's all that matters..

And to others too...Apologize for everything..

Ramadhan Kareem..

with love,

UM




Monday, July 26, 2010

Short ,sweet & simple..:)

In the nama of Allah the Most Gracious and Most Merciful
Assalamalaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

(^^)

1)I'm now in my final semester..It's hard to believe that i'll be graduating in 3 months time..I felt that it was just yesterday that my late abah sent me in PJ to do my foundations..Time flies very fast..

2)Day by day..I get confuse as to my future planning...Having too much option is also a problem..But well, life is about deciding..Allah will guide me along the way..InsyaAllah..Praying that the path that i choose to take is the best that Allah desires..

3) Taaruf week which was about 3 weeks ago was a new experience to me..Despite the shortcomings,difficulty and etc it all went well...But i think the part i will treasure is the bond of friendship and meeting new people..they were wonderful! ;)

4) Sometimes what we plan,does not go well...People say that fail to plan is plan to fail..But well sometime even you do plan..it doesn't seem to work..Kita merancang, Allah yang menentukan..So,jgnlah rasa down,pasti ada hikmah di akhirnya :) Doa banyak2 because DIA yg memberi...

5)I've been dealing with this one enterprise..This is the first time that I met a seller who does not believe in CUSTOMER is always right..I had lots of trouble dealing with them..The blame was to be put on me? Motif..?Padahal obviously it was their fault(Bersabar:Mode) But it's ok..It really taught me of being rational and patient! he..:)

6)I'm having a new interest..BEADINGS..owh no..plan to go to classes but then i managed to get ebook tutorial on how to start..Well..i like to sew but i'm not sure whether beading is for me..haha..;D (kalau jadi..nnti bukak bisnes..hehe..tak jadik nak jadik lawyer..:p)

7) I've attended Pre-Marriage Course..it's cheap here in Gombak..so i just took the chance..:)

(just manage to terbitkan)

for those who wanting to know my updatesla..)

with luv,

UM..



Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The phase of life..

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious & Most Merciful
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh...
It's been a while that no entry was made since almost a month..There are various reasons for that..It's not that i've been so busy,but being "laptopless" (plz forgive me if this term never exist..he) and moving around here and there made me so tired of remembering my FB..hehe..(i do miss the wonderful people in FB) :)
But well..lots of things happened...
1)Technicality : Allah made it easy
At one point of time..i always thought that my life would be hard after "that technicality" its not a matter of "that technicality" as such but it is more to the sentimental attachment to it..seriously..(i can be so sentimental at times)..
that time..seriously i said to myself..just face it..(its like i don't know what to feel anymore) whatever happen..i will still be on my feet coz i know that Allah will always be with me..and I have my family who needs me..
I realize that when we thought life was hard..other people's life is harder..Maybe Allah wants me to be grateful..to be patient..and to remind me what is the ultimate aim in life.
And no matter how much power n control of mankind..nothing can defeat the power and will of Allah swt..
2)Death : Cancer
My auntie passed-away due to cancer (Al-Fatihah) I had the chance to visit her...alhamdulillah (Aturan Allah jua yg mengizinkan) it was something unplanned but then i was happy n grateful to see her...
That time..it really remind of my late father..being in the 'oncologist' ward..
and it was such a coincidence that i met my neighbour back in damansara who was undergoing her treatment..I was blessed that i met her again..Her face was so calm even i know that she was in pain..Bless her Allah..When i looked at her performing her prayer on the bed with wearing her telekung..my heart whispered in silence (Owh kuatnya hati2 insan yang Kau duga ini Ya Allah)
3)Friendship
I'm thankful to my friends around me for the support until now..entah bila i think i just can life without tears coming out from my eyes..(or specifically kelenjar air mata..he) but i think as a normal human being, i just can't avoid it..its the way for me to feel relief..just to let it out..(even after that i looked like i've not been sleeping for ages) ;)
I met my friends in SMKAMH during the wedding of beloved imah and her husband...even i was with them only until F3..our friendship remains as it is..I was happy to see them..they will always remember to invite me to their wedding even we don't constantly keep in touch..
Another unexpected plan-i went to KUIS..(after being informed that my brother's arrival was delayed).I've not been her for quite a while..Even it's not a place where i studied to get my diploma or degree but this place had taught me the meaning of ukhwah..the meaning of endless bond of friendship..and left such a wonderful n sentimental memory in my life..
I still remembered how we always go to the previous office in s.alam..to eat nasi ayam that we loved so much..that time i was still in primary school..
Thanks to Kak Dilla and MakCik Gee for accepting my 'shocking' visit..:) and meeting Khaira Ulfah was fun(i think she liked me a lot knowing that i had the same name with her) he;)
4)Marriage
Selamat Pengantin baru kepada yang sudah berkahwin dan yang akan berkahwin...seriously..dah lost track siapa yang nak kawin ni..InsyaAllah ada kesempatan and fulusnya..sampailah sy ke mana location di peta itu..:)
dah kawin and xdpt datang:
Hafiz(Matpet) & Wife di Muar
Ameer & Wife
Kak Laili Zarina & Husband di Banting
Kak Aini Fairus & Husband
dah kawin n dapat datang:
Imah & Ijam di Sepang
yang nk kawin n nk datang:
Sajid & pasangan di JB (walaupun jauh..nk juge smpai)
Idris & pasangan di Sik,Kedah (nak dtg yg dekatnya leh x..? he)
with luv,
UM
p/s: another phase of life awaits..:)